What is Ghosting and why do people do that?

Ghosting takes place when someone abruptly cuts off all forms of communication without any prior explanation. Ghosting is a common misdeed in today's social culture and behavior and leaves the "ghosted" people feeling deeply backstabbed, down and disrespected.

WHY DO PEOPLE GHOST?

For one, to avoid conflict & confrontation, and because it's convenient as they don't know how they feel and would rather not work through their difficult emotions, they are no longer interested in investing in the relationship and are rightly in the belief that they are perpetuating less dullness by ghosting instead of being truthful and open.

They feel like they are not provided enough safe haven to openly come out on how they feel, which makes them fearful of disappointing people. They are of the opinion that they cannot meet the needs of other people and try withdrawing as to feel more comfortable.

There are incidents where people chose to ghost because of their boundaries being repeatedly violated.

For many, ghosting triggers unhealed childhood trauma related to attachment and fetch up repressed memories of emotional ignorance and desertion. This can leave one feeling deeply hurt, blocked & rejected regardless of how invested individuals are in each other.

WAYS TO DEAL WITH IT

1. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT THEM

Tell yourself that the behaviour and their inability to communicate what they feel is for them to work out & has nothing on your worth.

2. TRY TO SEE IT AS A GIFT

This is difficult to follow but immensely helpful. Try saying this out loud as if you're telling it to them: "Thank you for showing me the level of emotional unavailability and lack of respect you have for me. You are not the right thing for me." Make this the fuel to help you move on.

3. TALK ABOUT IT

Research has proven that putting our feelings into words makes the feeling of sadness, hurt & anguish less intense. This is one of the reasons therapy works like magic and why talking to loved ones can get us through rough times, keep talking and/or journalling till you feel relaxed about it.

Ghosting has become a social norm, and is followed by people like it is a mantra. It stings being ghosted and its uncomfortable to be someone who has to ghost. So, why is it happening? One should challenge themself to respectfully end things with someone if they are no longer interested. They should challenge themself to not take being ghosted personally. Everyone is not ready for everyone and being ghosted is just a crisp reflection on the person ghosting than the person being ghosted - remember that!